25 October 2006

Remember Kids.....


I've realised that I haven't written the funniest story ever in here yet!! Get this - my boyfriend is Mexican and he thinks that he can take eating jabanero peppers (like a Mexican who's actually grown up in Mexico) and buys this package of fresh jabaneros. I warn him profusely they are very hot, but being the man that he is, looks at me and says, "I'm a MexiCAN, not a MexiCAN'T!!" Okay. So this mofo cuts up a pepper and put it DIRECTLY on a sandwich he's made. (I know you can already see where this is going.) He bites into the sandwich and I can literally see his face go from white to firengine red. He lets out a scream and starts running around the house fanning his tongue, then grabs some water, downs it, it doesn't work, so then he grabs some ice and starts shoving it in his mouth. At this point, I hear him screaming through my laughter from the bathroom, "Go online and find out what to do to stop the burning!!" I told him that he has to drink milk. He runs back into the kitchen and kills the milk. After about a minute, he's finally calmed down. So I'm DYING laughing, and he's a little embarrassed and we're kind of both laughing about it. So of course, AGAIN, being the man that he is, he sticks his hand in his pants to adjust his balls. Now, he didn't realise that as he was cutting up the peppers, the juice had gotten on his fingers. So as I'm winding down laughing, he has this look on his face. It's this look like something very serious has occured to him, or like that deer-in-the-headlights kind of look. He screams even LOUDER, as his balls are on FIRE!! He tears around the apartment, screaming, I'm literally on my hands and knees crying laughing. He strips off all his clothes and jumps in the shower, trying to scrub the pepper juice off of him. I can't relate all the expletives that were coming out of the shower. Then he hops out saying that it's not working then grabs a cup of ice, puts it into a mug of water and he's squatted over the toilet bowl soaking his nuts in ice water. After I compose myself (my stomach HURTS from laughing so hard), I finally pull out my aloe vera and rub it on him. So remember kids: don't juggle your balls after cutting up jabanero peppers.

1 comment:

The Jaded NYer said...

OMG- that story had me laughing so hard I almost woke the neighbors and pee'd my pants!!!