And In the Center Ring....

You know, I don't know what's making me sicker today - my flu shot or the freakin' media circus around anything political. Not for nothing, but I'm SICK of it. If I have to hear anymore mudslinging for the rest of my life between Democrats and Republicans I'm going to shoot myself!! Why not just disband both parties (and really have them all exiled) and start over. We need new blood. I feel like watching the news is just like watching a Jackass movie - same intellectual content. Except there are no midgets in office - why is that? Is it because it's like Dave Attell says, that no one believes a midget when he's trying to tell you something serious? All we do is say, "Awww!! Are you trying to tell me where the gold is hidden?" Anyway, if I had my way, all the current politicians running the country should be drawn and quartered, and we have video of it shown OVER and OVER to remind ourselves to not let the country end up in the state it's in right now. We suck. Yeah, I said it. Our politicians might as well wear rainbow Afro wigs with red noses, big gloves and big shoes. They should show up for a convention in a little car and then like 80 of them all come out of the same little car and scurry up to the convention hall. They should light their cigars at fundraisers and then the cigars blow up in their faces and they're all charred and bewildered, with their hair all fucked up and smokey. They should go on the campaign trails riding unicycles and instead of handing out little American flags, they hand out balloon animals. When they go to a charity dinner and ask for a drink, the waiter pulls out a seltzer bottle and sprays them in the face. And every time they look into the camera and speak their promises a giant fist comes out of the side and punches them off camera. Then the camera zooms in on them and they have frowny faces and a painted tear on their cheeks as they crawl around dazed on the floor.