Ok, so once again I have gone out and over done it with the red wine, sitting at my computer trying not to PTFO (pass the fuck out) on my keyboard. My head is swearing to god that it hates me, then starts crying, asking me why I treat it like this, then got angry and has been throbbing in insurgency. But I made a promise to my boyfriend - NO MORE DRINKING. Or at least out. We like to have wine together at home. I mean it this time I swear (somehow I feel like this has happened before...). I really, really mean it!! I have to somehow start holding myself to this promise. I have to threaten myself, I have to punish myself, I have to tie myself to the radiator the next time I think I'm going out!! Perhaps when I'm not looking, I'll pour hot pepper into my wine so when I take a sip, I'll spit it out and be traumatized...like a puppy who keep chewing on a shoe. Maybe I have to kick my own ass. Or maybe when I'm not looking I'll slip grape juice into the wine bottle and watch myself get fake drunk and laugh at myself for being so stupid!! HA ha ha ha!!!
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